


His Star Obscured, But Not His Scars

by moonjidaisy



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Fiction, M/M, Original Fiction, Romance, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28668174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonjidaisy/pseuds/moonjidaisy
Summary: “Han Jisung…”“I- I- love-”Jisung brings his pointer finger up to silence Seungmin’s lips from speaking further.He smiles a little, and says,“Keep it for when we meet again.”
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin
Kudos: 16





	His Star Obscured, But Not His Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! It's me Kirana again :)  
> I've been keeping this story idea in my draft since last November and I decided to write it now! Hope you enjoy this short story well, I tried my best in writing :)  
> Might leave some feedbacks/comments as well so I can improve! I really appreciate them!!  
> Thank you for reading and have a nice day!  
> Love lots!

People changes as they grow up. One day you’re an innocent kid who runs to your mom holding a chocolate ice-cream, and another day you’re scratching your notebook with formulas. One day you’re going to bed while thinking about how exciting tomorrow will be, and another day you go to bed thinking about how you want the time to slow down for a moment. One day I feel like the most loved person in the world—because I had you—but another day, you managed to make me feel like the most useless person that ever existed in this world.

* * *

“So all those memories…” Seungmin’s voice trembles,

“Are all lies?”

The other smirks, not even bothering to take his gaze away from the street.

Soon he answers with a firm tone,

“Yes.” 

Seungmin’s eyes hover with sorrow, staring into Jisung’s eyes—hopelessly trying to find any possibilities that he’s pulling another prank—but there’s none. He swallows the bile in his throat and mutters, 

“You never loved me?”

Jisung steps on the brake as the traffic light turns red. It’s a sudden brake, causing Seungmin to almost bumping into the car’s dashboard—but Jisung’s left hand sprightly hold him back. Seungmin, however, immediately pushes Jisung’s hand away. 

“Answer me,” he insists. 

Jisung lets out a deep sigh, moving his gaze to the left where Seungmin sits. Seungmin bites his bottom lip, still hoping that it’s all lies, that Jisung is only trying to fool him again (that would be a better scenario, honestly). But as soon as Jisung’s soft voice—advises his answer—was heard, he knows he has no hopes. 

“Never,” Jisung says, a soft smile rises on his features.

_How could you pull out a smile that easily?_

“Why….?”

“Look, I just don’t feel the same, okay? Can you understand that? I just don’t feel like this is going to work anymore.”

“That makes nonsense, Sung-ah!”

Seungmin yells in frustration.

“Just tell me something that makes sense, this isn’t it. Tell me you cheated, had another boyfriend, or a girlfriend, whatever!!”

He pauses for a moment, his tone drops as other words escape from his trembling lips.

“Tell me something more believable.” 

“Please?”

The other remains silent. His eyes locked to the street, not even glance a little to Seungmin. 

_Are you tired of me?_

_What did I do wrong?_

“We’ve arrived, min.”

Jisung’s words break the long—suffocating—silence inside the car. Seungmin’s eyes widened in disbelief. This is how they will end their 3 years of relationship? This is it? Those 1095 days' memories will end with dropping him in front of his house and saying goodbye? 

“You haven’t answered my question.”

“As I said, I just don’t love you. I’m so-”

Seungmin cuts off Jisung’s words, crashing his soft lips into the other’s. 

“Don’t you even dare to kiss me back,” he murmurs between their kisses. 

_Stiff._

_You really don't love me anymore, don’t you?_

_Do you ever love me in the first place?_

A drop of tear falls, touching both Seungmin and Jisung’s cheeks. Inviting salty sniffs into their painfulㅡalmost bitterㅡkiss. Seungmin pulls back, refuses to look Jisung in the eyes and gets out of the car immediately. 

“I hope you’re happy without me,” he whispers to the thin air as the car passes by.

* * *

11:00 PM 

It’s been almost 7 hours since Seungmin gets himself inside his house. He left the air conditioner on earlier, causing freezing wind to blow up through him as he opened the door. The floor he steps on feels frigid—and bitter. It’s cold, both literally and figuratively. The inside of those four walls feels empty—almost like him.

He stares around, a black television is babbling nonsense in front of him—he must’ve forgotten to turn it off last night, he sees the brown couch with a stain of chocolate ice-cream Jisung spilt when they were watching Howl’s Moving Castle last weekend, the kitchen where Seungmin burned a pancake he prepared for Jisung’s birthday (they ended up buying a chocolate cake together instead), every single stuff in this house is reminding Seungmin of him. Jisung’s high pitched laugh is still lingering in his ears, his heart-shaped smiles, his little dance when excitement rushes inside his soul, everything. 

_How can I live like this?_

He walks to the balcony and lay down on the brown carpet, where they used to spend their night together—staring to the sky, counting stars, and naming every constellation they found. Those days when he felt safe inside his star’s embrace and fell asleep to the sound of each other’s heartbeat. When a half-moon smile shows up on his features over simply sitting under the stars with their hands intertwined. 

_**I will be by your side for as long as the universe lets me.** _

Jisung’s words from last night echoed inside his head. 

“Liar,” he mutters, a bitter smile makes an appearance as another drop of tears start rolling down on his cheeks, again. 

“Why did you do this to me…”

Seungmin closes his eyes for a while, letting his emotions pour down into more tears. His mind starts to play every memory they’ve spent together, it feels like a time-lapse and slow-motion at the same time. How much long they’ve been apart so he already misses Jisung’s warm palm on the nape of his neck, and the pressure his fingers put on his back that could brushes off his tiredness from work. He misses him, his touch, his smile, his— everything. The bitter taste of their last kiss still persists on his dry lips.

_How could you say you never loved me, Jisung?_

_You’re the one who confessed to me first._

He still remembers a figure of Jisung, wearing his Supreme black t-shirt while holding balloons and a bouquet of lily flowers standing nervously in front of Seungmin’s door. The smile on his face as he said that he loves him, the sparks in his eyes, they’re too sincere.

It’s so hard—almost impossible—to believe that Jisung never loved Seungmin and just pretending to love him for a whole 3 years. That doesn’t make sense at all. 

He wipes his tears with his palm roughly, blinks a few times as his sight is getting clearer—and he sees it. 

The blinding light and raving mess on the night sky—the stars look like they’re spinning really fast into the ground, where someone stands bravely under those mess with his gaze locked to the sky. Seungmin frowns a little, trying to figure out who that person is. 

“Jisung?”

* * *

Under the teetering hue of violet and dreadful lights of the sky splattered on burning crimson across the dimming horizon, Jisung is glowing as his eyes stare into a man in front of him—Seungmin. He smiles slightly, with sadness sparks overflowing from his eyes as his hand starts to shine. The other seems confused, not knowing what to do but staring blankly into the view in front of him. 

“Why are you here, Seungmin?” Jisung’s soft voice was heard. 

Seungmin gulps a little—he really misses to hear his voice again, and he answers.

“I saw you from the balcony.”

“And I came,” he continued. 

“I see…” Jisung murmurs. 

In a blink of an eye, Seungmin feels Jisung’s warm body on his skin. When he averts his gaze from the sky to Jisung, he sees him biting his bottom lip, with his anxious stare cast on Seungmin’s eyes.

Seungmin has a lot to ask in his mind, but before any words manage to come out of his lips, Jisung looks up at him with a pair of luminous eyes—which stops Seungmin’s heartbeat for a few seconds. 

“Minnie… I don’t want to go…” he murmurs, it’s almost impossible for him to catch his words. “I can’t stay with you any longer…” he continued, his voice trembling. 

“Wait, what- what is this Jisung? What happened?”

“I don’t have time to explain, Minnie,” he says.

“I’ll disappear at any moment,” he continues, his empty laugh follows. 

Worries reflected in Jisung’s gaze starting to affect Seungmin’s.

_What does he mean with disappearing? What is he?_

“No,” Seungmin says, taking Jisung’s trembling hand in his, intertwines their fingers together—which still fits perfectly. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you.”

Seungmin is not surprised by Jisung’s empty laugh, though it pricks his heart knowing that Jisung is hurting that bad.

“You know what, Seungmin? I’m a star. I lost my way and fell to earth.”

Seungmin listens well, not letting any sound escape his mouth, despite a sob burning his throat, trying to find its way out as coughs and cries. 

“Earth is a scary place, but I found you. I’m not supposed to fall in love with a human. It’s all my mistakes. I’m sorry that I hurt you with my greed. I’m sorry that fate is against us—that we never meant to be together.”

Keeping his gaze on the beautiful twinkle of Jisung’s eyes, Seungmin tries to speak, hands trembling more and more as he tries to keep himself from crumbling. “We have no chance?” But his words come out as a mere whisper. 

“No, I’m sorry.” He smiles, a little less fake and more defeated this time. “It’s my fault. I was never supposed to fall for a human.”

Seungmin shakes his head, an anxious smile curled up on his face—afraid that they have no more time left. 

“It’s not your fault, Jisung.”

His star looks up at the blue-dark sky. “If you look at the sky, I’ll be somewhere among the other stars.” Jisung looks at Seungmin again, finding the other still staring with the same glint of emotions he has always looked at Jisung with—it aches to know that these are the emotions he’s supposed to forget. 

“Jisung-ah…” he mutters, the other still has his eyes locked into his.

“Han Jisung…”

“I lo-”

Jisung brings his pointer finger up to silence Seungmin’s lips from speaking further. 

He smiles a little, and he says,

“Keep it for when we meet again.”

With words left unsaid at the tip of their tongues, Jisung leans in to give Seungmin a long—maybe last—kiss on his forehead. The tingle remains, even as Seungmin watches Jisung’s smile, even as he slowly stands up, backs away, and dissolves into lights.

His figure is still the most beautiful thing he has ever witnessed.

_Maybe one day_

_Under the brighter sun_

_With the softer wind_

_We will be two stranger_

_Facing our encounter_

_For the first time_

_Again._

_And maybe that time, fate will be on our side._

**_ fin. _ **


End file.
